ladybugg

Thanks to everybody who responded to my earlier post about my cousins party and all the tempation that will surround me such as the drinks. I have decided that I will have a few. One of my buddies made a good point, even though we are dieting we must live also. I just have to learn moderation that is what got me to my weight in the first place.  On another note I must celebrate with my cousin after many years of being in relationship phobia she has found a guy that she is going to marry!! I can’t begin to tell you how anti marriage and children she was. She has done a complete 180!

To be honest I havent started going to the gym yet. In place of it I have been walking around the block and doing massive housework. I also have a fitness DVD that I will start using. Since I am a pro at dieting (and never succeding) I knew that these couple of pounds would ccome off easy. Now time for the hard part, the gym!! I just hate going to the gym not because I don’t like working out I just hate that feeling of being the fat girl on the treadmill. I feel like everybody is looking at me and saying yeah right. I have lost 6 pounds in 1 1/2 weeks! Yes water weight but every pound is one step closer to my skinny dance!!

This weekend is my cousins birthday. Well my cousin is my best friend and of course we enable each other all the time!! She has the same tradition every year, celebrate her birthday at a resturaunt with family and friends. I can avoid the food no problem but it’s the alcohol that I can’t avoid!! I was thinking of making some excuse to not go but I can’t find any and I would feel too guilty. We are probably going to a bar afterwards, I was just thinking of taking shots all night to avoid the calories! Anybody got any ideas of what to do?!

This was my first weekend on my diet. I went to my mom’s house and I find it’s hard for me to diet when I am not in my comfort zone, which is home. We went out to eat and of course I told everybody we had to choose a restaurant that had a “guilt free” menu. We went to Chillis and I ate right and I didn’t even order a drink!!!! I love their drinks!! Today is offically day seven of my diet, and I think I am off to a great start.

I almost cheated today and it hasn’t even been a full week. I was going to eat at taco bell!! I am proud of myself that I just made a turkey sandwich along with a handful of carrots and a glass of water for dinner instead!! Does anyone stop eating after a certain time? I was thinking about eating some icecream (a healthy serving of course), but I don’t want to eat it right after dinner. I eat dinner around 5:30, 6:00 and I don’t want to eat dinner any earlier because I will be starving by 8:00. What does guys think of eating icecream around 7:00?

Has anyone noticed how diet food taste so gross at first? I know my body is getting adjusted to eating right but food such as lean cuisine, diet tortillas, diet granola bars, basically anything diet has that ‘diet’ taste!! It’s almost lunch time and I am just dreading to eat. I know weird right?! I want to eat Olive Garden chicken alfredo. When I think of eating good food I think of the moment of how well it taste but then I remember the gross feeling that I have afterwards. That is my motivation to eat right. I know this is a battle that I have to live day by day but sometimes I wonder if I can do it! My motivation is not down but my worry for the future is.

The road that led me to where I am today has been a very winding road. It first started with me at 215 pounds. I was engaged and happy. What was so tragic at the time turned to motivation to become skinny. I was losing weight to try and get him back. I lost weight for all of the wrong reasons. I went down to a size 6 and weighing only 160. I was not happy. I have learned that losing weight has to be something that YOU want for yourself. It’s about eating healthy, being aware of what you consume, and realizing the effects that it has on your body. At least that is the rational that I have in my head to keep me motivated. Since then I have gained a monsterous amount of weight. I met my husband gained some weight, got married gained some weight, and had a baby and gained weight. I have no energy and I feel disgusted with myself.  I really want to lose this weight and be healthy and happy. This time I hope I can do it…….