ladybugg

Okay I am trying so hard to not let myself get off the wagon. I am eating a little worse everyday. Although to my dismay I ate something fried yesterday and paid for it last night. I had the worse stomach ache!! I won’t get into any details but it wasn’t pretty. I have worked so hard to lose all the weight that I have I just wanted a break and looking to get back on the wagon complety!!!

Hello everybody! I was at the grocery store the other day and  while I was shopping I realized that it takes me forever now because I am always checking the labels. Also everytime I am at the store checking labels most people look at me funny. I mean I don’t care because I am choosing to eat healthy but does anybody else feel the same way?  And another thing does anybody actually feel fatter being on a diet. I have lost about 4 dress sizes but for some reason I feel fatter. Maybe because I am aware of my body all of the time now. Just some ramblings for the day…

Hello everybody!! Well let me see I am finally at 199-198!! It keeps changing!! I am a size 14 and to tell you the truth I am happy. I have been smaller, and also been bigger. I always seem to stay around size 14. I hate to say it but I would stay at this weight if I could. The reason I said if I could is because something amazing is happening to me. I don’t know if this is how it happens for people but today my family and I took the little one to San Diego, it was so fun. This was my daughters first time at the beach.  Well of course it was a road trip and I splurged a little.

Here it is:

4 red twist

one individual size pep. pizza from pizza hut

6 pieces of buttered lobster bites from Long Johns

Of course I made some healthy choices along the way. But the point I am trying to make is this. It was time to eat lunch and I thought okay i have been wanting pizza so I went to pizza hut express and ordered a meal that came with the pizza and breadsticks. My husband and i had our lunch in the car because our daughter was knocked out in the back… it was so cute, she was snoring!!! Sorry I lose track to fast, while I opend the bag of food I reached to get the breadsticks and took a bite my husband looked at me and said, “You shouldn’t eat that you will get just full off the breadsticks.” He was right my stomach has shrunk so much that I would have. My old fat self was thinking eat everything and not listen to my stomach when it got full. I put the breadsticks back in the bag and ate the pizza. While I was eating it I was fine but then I was half way finished and started to get sick. Usually when I eat I feel energized and ready to finish whatever task I have left. This pizza did nothing for me. It made me sick and provided no nutritonal value at all. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Food (bad food, that is what I will call it)  is good but that’s it. I use to eat to feel good for a minute and then feel like crap forever!!!

So now on to the lobster bites. I knew I wasn’t hungry because I just had a skinny latte and a banana but my daughter and husband were hungry so we stopped at Long Johns and ordered food. Of course I wanted some of my husbands lobster bites. While I was eating them again I got sick. My husband was eating his fries. As he went to wipe his greasy hands on his pants, I thought, oh my goodness, this food is so bad that just the oil is so thick it can stain your clothes and cause your hands to be saturated in fat, lol saturated fat, get it!! Sorry I am out of it!! Well anyways all of these ah ha moments came to me and I just wanted to share!

Like I said sorry if I don’t make sense just got back from a long day in the sun!!

Take care everybody!!

That is how I feel right now………..

I decided to eat healthy as of Jan 5th of this year. I have not cheated. This week I thought hey down 43 pounds why not treat myself to a little snack. I bought angel food cake, okay it’s not really a treat because it’s not bad at all. No fat, just carbs and sugar. I went to the store and bought the smallest piece I could find. I found one bar that was 5 servings at 172 calories per serving.I went home and had half of a serving which is 85 calories. Well today is another day and I have been feeling so hungry. I have been eating protein, fruit, and usually what I normally eat. As I was looking for something to eat I saw the angel food cake, (you can see where I am going with this). I pulled it out and looked at it and thought don’t do it!!! I thought just one bite would curb my want for it. I took another and another. I think I had about two servings which equals 344 calories and 48 grams of sugar!!!!! I wanted to eat the whole thing I threw it back in the cupboard and called my husband. He was very supportive and I just started crying. I was reading Debs post earlier saying that we never really have this battle conquered. I thought to myself that it’s so true. I told my husband I was a fat pig and of course he chose words of comfort. I feel so bad……… Really bad. I really have an eating problem. I knew I did but today it started at me right in the face. I am happy that I didn’t eat all of the cake but what about next time…

Since I have been feeling so hungry lately I am thinking why?

Here is what’s going on..

1.) Started a new birth control, ortho tri cyclen. I can’t take depo because I will gain to much weight with that one. I am thinking maybe the hormones are just making me a little whacky.

2.) I have been doing a lot of weight training and only consuming 1200 calories. Should I increase it, and by how much?

I know everybody’s body reacts different to different circumstances but I really need some advice…

I posted my ‘fat’ pictures on the fridge so that when I want something to eat I can remember how I use to look. As I have been reading blogs and thinking I forgot how awful I use to feel. I was always sleepy. I could sleep all day. It really took time away from my daughter and I felt like such a horrible mother. I had really bad indegistion. I would wake up in the middle of the night in pain.

Ever since I have been eating healthy and going to the gym I feel like a new person…

Goals for this week:

Drink more water

Break away from the caffeine

Go to the gym 5-6 times a week

Try eating more vegtables

I think that is all I want to tackle for now. If anybody has any helpful hints I would sure love it.

200.2!!! I am almost in the 100’s!!!!! This weekend I tried the wheat grass shot, it was so gross but I thought it could help out with the fact that I don’t get my vegtable intake as high as I would like. Well I just got home from my weekend trip now it’s off to the start to stock up on fruit and oh wait vegtables too!!!

Everybody have a great day!!

Well I have recently not been on as much as I use to be but it’s because I have been so busy!!! I knew that once I started my weight loss that I would have so much more energy to do things that I haven’t been doing!!!

I have been taking phentermine, and it works like a charm. The only bad thing is that I lost a lot of muscle mass so I need to gain some and more, does anybody have any good ideas of what to do as far as weight training.

I am 5′4 at 202 pounds. I don’t want to lift to much but I don’t want to lift to little. How many times a week should I weight train and for how long?! Help… I am totally clueless!!

 Thanks!!

Thanks to everybody who responded to my earlier post about my cousins party and all the tempation that will surround me such as the drinks. I have decided that I will have a few. One of my buddies made a good point, even though we are dieting we must live also. I just have to learn moderation that is what got me to my weight in the first place.  On another note I must celebrate with my cousin after many years of being in relationship phobia she has found a guy that she is going to marry!! I can’t begin to tell you how anti marriage and children she was. She has done a complete 180!

To be honest I havent started going to the gym yet. In place of it I have been walking around the block and doing massive housework. I also have a fitness DVD that I will start using. Since I am a pro at dieting (and never succeding) I knew that these couple of pounds would ccome off easy. Now time for the hard part, the gym!! I just hate going to the gym not because I don’t like working out I just hate that feeling of being the fat girl on the treadmill. I feel like everybody is looking at me and saying yeah right. I have lost 6 pounds in 1 1/2 weeks! Yes water weight but every pound is one step closer to my skinny dance!!

This weekend is my cousins birthday. Well my cousin is my best friend and of course we enable each other all the time!! She has the same tradition every year, celebrate her birthday at a resturaunt with family and friends. I can avoid the food no problem but it’s the alcohol that I can’t avoid!! I was thinking of making some excuse to not go but I can’t find any and I would feel too guilty. We are probably going to a bar afterwards, I was just thinking of taking shots all night to avoid the calories! Anybody got any ideas of what to do?!

This was my first weekend on my diet. I went to my mom’s house and I find it’s hard for me to diet when I am not in my comfort zone, which is home. We went out to eat and of course I told everybody we had to choose a restaurant that had a “guilt free” menu. We went to Chillis and I ate right and I didn’t even order a drink!!!! I love their drinks!! Today is offically day seven of my diet, and I think I am off to a great start.